Facebook, Safebook, Happybook

I have been chastised for deleting people from my Friends list. I was told some folks found it offensive. For a while I felt bad about that, but it never stopped me from hitting the Delete button.

Your Facebook account is YOURS and it is what you make it. 

I think sometimes people get the wrong impression about *friending* someone. They think this gives them a license to execute several socially unacceptable behaviors in your presence and it’s *okay* because it’s just Facebook. I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. That’s why there’s a Delete button.

Then there is the *one degree of separation* syndrome.

I was victim to a petty public humiliation on Facebook a few years back when I offended some folks. They ganged up on me and posted everywhere they could think of just to get in my Face-book. If you dissected their actions you could build a tree of how they were gathering the ranks as they posted on some of my friend’s pages that they professed to *hate* with an “Oh, be included in our tirade!” Some of these people participated without really even knowing what was going on.

Rather than air their dirty laundry by trying to defend myself or even explain it to some folks, I exercised my Delete button and eliminated the one degree of separation on the In-Your-Face-Book campaign.

Angry mobs on Facebook are quite common. They are the definition of Cyber Bullying. Don’t subject yourself to their immaturity by keeping them on your Friend List out of some misguided grown-up notion. Yes, you can use your Settings to keep them in check, but I see that as a reward for bad behavior.

If they want to be a jerk, they don’t deserve to play in my backyard.

I have also been stalked on Facebook and was resigned to delete folks from my Friend List that shared a connection with my stalker. These were people that I truly enjoyed interacting with. That was a difficult thing to do, but necessary. The stalker followed me all over Facebook until finally I had to close the door on many of my connections. It broke my heart to see folks drop out of my Feed, but the peace of mind was so worth it to me. Besides, I still email with my friends and they know how I feel about them.

I want the people on my Friend List to be the same people I would enjoy being in the same room with. That’s why they’re there. I’m not interested in being verbally abused or threatened or gossiped about.

Take a look at your Facebook Friends. Do you feel safe when you post? Are you compelled to hide certain information from folks because you think they might hurt you? Do you have people on your list that you really can’t stand? If so, delete them. There’s no rule against it.

I know there are some arguments  against this.

For instance, the divorced father that keeps the ex-wife on his friend list for the sake of his child. I find that admirable, but if it hinders your social networking experience because the two of you aren’t friends, why not monitor the ex-wife’s activity on the child’s page and eliminate her from yours?

There is also the assumption that if you delete a bunch of *friends*, that have made it clear they don’t like you, then somehow they *win* by making you delete them. Um, hello? What do they win? And who continues to lose by allowing them to share your space? Yes, there is the joy of living harmoniously, but I see no harmony in allowing people that wish me ill to be able to connect with me in any way.

Don’t let anyone dictate to you how to manage your Facebook. It’s supposed to be fun and it’s supposed to make you happy. When it stops doing that, use your delete button.

Make your Facebook a Safebook and I’ll see you in my Homefeed :)